'twas a Sonny Christmas
I was going through my files this morning and I came across a very disturbing letter I got a little before Christmas of fourth grade. I had just moved from Pensacola to Satellite Beach, Fl.
“Dear Jason,
I heard about lazer tag. I think it’s neat. There was a murder on our street at Sonny’s house. I hope you get what you want. I hope you like your 5th series Garbage Pail Kids.
Love,
Cody
MERRY CHRISTMAS”
Sonny was the neighborhood drunk and insanely mean. His nephew, Shane, would stay for a few weeks during the summer. We all thought Shane was cool because he had bullet belt with live ammo that Sonny gave him. I remember the day Shane got the bullet belt. I remember Sonny handing it to Shane then picking up and tossing me in the air. We were their back yard and Sonny reeked of beer. Onetime, Shane and I were at Sonny’s house walking out the door to play in the back yard. Sonny was sitting in a recliner in the dark watching TV. When we were almost out the door Sonny yelled, “Shane! Change the TV station. “We’re almost outside. Can’t you do it?” “SHANE CHANGE THE TV STATION!!!” Sonny then threw a rock through the TV screen and then screamed, “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!” Then he got up and threw the TV through the window. I ran home petrified.
One day there was a girl scout selling cookies door to door and a bunch of us were outside hanging out on the driveway. When she came by us we warned her not to go to Sonny’s house and said that he was crazy. We all watch her ring the bell and waited for chaos. Sonny opened the door and stared down at her as said her whole sales pitch. The girl couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. Sonny swatted the clipboard out of her hands and slammed the door in her face. We all laughed since she didn’t listen.
My mother said that a few months after we moved Sonny dismembered his wife and put her in the freezer. Sometimes you can just feel when someone is bad.
“Dear Jason,
I heard about lazer tag. I think it’s neat. There was a murder on our street at Sonny’s house. I hope you get what you want. I hope you like your 5th series Garbage Pail Kids.
Love,
Cody
MERRY CHRISTMAS”
Sonny was the neighborhood drunk and insanely mean. His nephew, Shane, would stay for a few weeks during the summer. We all thought Shane was cool because he had bullet belt with live ammo that Sonny gave him. I remember the day Shane got the bullet belt. I remember Sonny handing it to Shane then picking up and tossing me in the air. We were their back yard and Sonny reeked of beer. Onetime, Shane and I were at Sonny’s house walking out the door to play in the back yard. Sonny was sitting in a recliner in the dark watching TV. When we were almost out the door Sonny yelled, “Shane! Change the TV station. “We’re almost outside. Can’t you do it?” “SHANE CHANGE THE TV STATION!!!” Sonny then threw a rock through the TV screen and then screamed, “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!” Then he got up and threw the TV through the window. I ran home petrified.
One day there was a girl scout selling cookies door to door and a bunch of us were outside hanging out on the driveway. When she came by us we warned her not to go to Sonny’s house and said that he was crazy. We all watch her ring the bell and waited for chaos. Sonny opened the door and stared down at her as said her whole sales pitch. The girl couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. Sonny swatted the clipboard out of her hands and slammed the door in her face. We all laughed since she didn’t listen.
My mother said that a few months after we moved Sonny dismembered his wife and put her in the freezer. Sometimes you can just feel when someone is bad.
posted by Jason at 10:47 AM
3 Comments:
Dude that is intensimo...I wonder what happened to you friend?
Hey Brewdawg! What say you and me throw back some cold ones, do shots of hot bacon dressing out of dirty ashtrays and stare at some blacklight posters until we puke! Shirts/skirts off in the pit! Spring BREAK, Spring BREAK, Spring BREAK!!!
Scan that letter and put it up!! Plus some Hamacher art!!
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