We could disapear...

I just got home from my first night back to work after the wedding. On the way to work I decided to listen the Frodus Weapons record. Listening to that record brings up such strong emotions. It pisses me off that we never got to play most of those songs live. That was the hardest I’ve worked on a record. After work the first song that came on was 6/99. For the past 6 years that song has been synonymous with Alanna’s death. I even have the chorus tattooed around my arm in Aramaic as a memorial. It has always been a song reminding me of how rough times used to be and how horrible that year was but tonight I heard something new. For the first time I heard the positive side to the song.

“We could disappear in echoes. We could disappear in the lives of those we love. I thought hope was lost. I tried not to look back. Haunted by darkened thoughts. The void drew me closer. Until we are brought back. By the lives of those we love. Hope was lost. I closed my eyes.”

Now that I am married I have a whole new life to look forward to. I have spent several years trying not wallow in the hell I went through. It took God sending Jenny to pull me into the present balancing me. I wasn’t able to look to or plan for the future for years. That’s all changed. I’ve changed, and I have my wife and God to thank.